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2009 ETO Conference
Summary Notes on Content of Daily Dialogue Break-Out Groups, ETO HUB, and Open Space, and links to Video Proceedings and Interviews

(Watch for more content, updates, networking / cooperation opportunities, and video interviews to be added soon)

November 12-15, 2009

Description:

Below are summary notes compiled by scribes from each of the concurrent daily Dialogue Groups. This materials was also posted on-site in hard copy form each day during the conference in the ETO Resource and Networking HUB to offer an participants an overview of what was brewing in the community as the conference was occurring.

The intent is to simply summarize and report content and highlights without attempting to explain or alter the basic flow of the sharing, and in that way better approximate a virtual experience of being present for these conversations.

Material from both the Dialogue Groups and the HUB were incorporated into an Open Space Process on Sunday leading to the conference closing, to promote action planning, collaboration, and products to carry from this gathering into our communities, and to facilitate continuing the dialogue process beyond the conference.

Also included in this section are links to video interviews of some participants.

This information is also be included in conference proceedings and outcomes, and utilized for future planning for our Fall 2010 5th Annual International ETO Conference.

Dialogue Groups

Friday November 13th:

Morning:

Dialogue Session B-1:
Chip Baggett, Facilitator

We began by discussing why we were drawn to this subject of Psychosocial Development and Identity. Some of us are going through changes in our lives which we see as affecting our identities. Is there such a thing as a central identity? vs. roles, e.g., mother, husband, cultural roles, etc. What is relationship between feelings of self-worth and identity? What goes on internally when we're stuck in roles? What does it mean to be your "true self"?

A story was shared in which his perceived identity (i.e.,) from someone else conflicted with his internal perception of his identity. In his example, he was a prison counselor labeled by a prisoner as "the man," someone working for the prison system. He saw himself as "someone working to humanize people" - through the vehicle of the prison system.

Identity = those aspects of our consciousness and experience that we identify with, but who I really am and my identity aren't the same thing according to his view.

One view of identity as a continuum was discussed, a kind of time line of our multilayered history, a narrative of our experience. But experience can never be objective because it has context.

Ego= mechanism of consciousness that functions to select, edit, interpret and categorize all information and sensory data. This becomes a lens through which we perceive experience. An apt metaphor he presented was that of looking through frosted glass that appears to make the building next door appear to be blurry. One can change the building in numerous ways, but since the lens doesn't change, the distortion will always be there. It exists in the perceiver, based on previous experience.

These patterns set the stage for our experience; conversely, our experience sets stage for patterns to repeat themselves.

Importance of identifying the lens through which we are viewing the situation in the present.

One person uses the word "trance" in his work: a subset of the ego that selects and organizes: we shouldn't take this as "truth."

Couples often create a shared "waking dream"; we need to "wake up" to negotiate in that context.
"I reserve right not to be who you think I am - and you have the right not to be who I think you are."

Comment:  Conventional wisdom is that intimacy is degree of sharing in a relationship. He has a different framework in which intimacy grows from taking the risk to be in a place of not knowing. We enter into a moment when "the other isn't who the other was" and the disruption of the old identity allows us to have something new into which we can step and explore. He introduced concept of "sacred unknowing."

"I am who I am in a situation because I think this will protect me from the other."

Comment:   If one view of identity is as a continuum of our development (ego level of experience based on conditioning (visualize as a horizontal line), then experience of being true self can be only experienced in the moment (visualize as a vertical line). In a sense, this kind of presence is outside of time.

To the degree to which we are defined by our narrative, our transformation can be limited.

Interacting: I come from true self, not from my position in the narrative.

"Reify" = turns a process into a thing; being fully present in moment - authentic presence.



Dialogue Session B-2:
Religious and Cultural Harmony Dialogue
Len and Libby Traubman, Facilitators

Sharing on Compassion

" Experience of the sacred is about being connected to myself and others and transcendence that occurs (Buddhist Perspective)

" From Christian perspective, "Wherever two or more are gathered, I am present…"

" "You stay in one place (or relationship) long enough to be used…You become the instrument of what is that wants to be said."

" "Service is my spiritual practice."

" What comes from me is more important than what I bring."

" Service is something that unites people across traditions and can be the path of enlightenment.

" "Service is every moment."

Dialogue Session B-3:
- Assumptions are not only a disservice to others but also the self
- sometimes assumptions have purpose but it is what you do with them that matters... check out and ask
- shifting assumptions of Americans -- media can be imbeded
- when challenged by others, I repeat to myself "think love and compassion"
- mentoring--- engaging in relationships - asking instead of telling
--create opportunities to grow -- step into zones and relationships that are uncomfortable
-teaching and accepting from thm
- know it or not - we are all mentoring whether we know it or not
- who are those people in your life that are inspiring and modeling
- only be going threw the fire as opposed to around we ca n truly grow
- stay fouced and be resilient
- engage in the conversations and situations
- easy to loose sight of how others present and perceive USA
- stories engage different sides of the brain
- saddens to hear how others perceive the US -- power of fear in the US is tremendous
- breaking down new systems is scary

"people become the stories they see and they tell"

Afternoon

Dialogue Session D-1:
The word economic equity vs. environmental equity attracted everyone to this group. Below are some of the comments from the session. The main themes were money and change.
Reasons for attending this group:
" This is a key issue in my professional world. It's important to communicate the economic contributions of nonprofits and change the public perception of nonprofits as takers and drainers of the economy.
" Resonates with the role of money in the nonprofit sector. Economic uncertainties are both scary and unpredictable. Redistribution of equities going on now.
" Impact of layoffs, fear, confidence, security, business operation, and the trickledown effect on youth
" Re-examine her own beliefs and fears of enoughness due to the economic realities
" Daily check-in on scarcity, juggling professional and personal fulfillment and how scarcity affects her choice.
" Being open to a radical shift while acknowledging a startling and real fear to the economy. Balancing ideals with reality.
" Is it easier or harder to have a radical change in these times?
" "It can't be worse" said one, while the other person feels things are flapping and it still can be worse. Thus, the hope campaign of Obama was much transformational than the presidency campaign.
" People who voted for change they can believe in were actually not interested in change. They were more excited about his mandate of change and fascinated by the changes he promised. They are not demanding change now that he's in office.
" Wants idealistic change. Resistance "what might it looked like if we created change together?"
" Feels powerless to make change while legislators create their change in Washington D.C. We need to have a fair representation of our change and have a choice.
" 9/11 brought change afterwards. People were followers of the government then.Both fear and love were strong post 9/11 yet we voted in a leader in fear.
" Communities are bridging gaps and community groups. People are taking back their power and control. We are shifting to depending less on the government.
" Transforming war economy to peace economy. Economic crisis is helping people understand money. Now an economic reform is underway. Change to the Gift Economy www.CommunityCurrency.org Moving from fear to love. The Spiral Dance in SF on Halloween. An altar was built to honor a new money system.
" North Dakota has a thriving budget due to its state bank, an innovative local solution
" What's does personal profound change look like?
" Joseph Campbell said something like this "If you look down the road and you can see where you will be in 5 years, that's just not true."
" Recommendations:
o "Forgiving a Feminist Critique of Exchange", Genevieve Vaughan. A video of her personal story is on www.CommunityCurrency.org
o "Soul of Money", Lynne Twist
o "The End of Money and the Future of Civilization", Tom Greco
o Look for a new documentary "Money and Life"
" Final thoughts/comments:
o Gratitude for this group and opportunity to share
o Became aware of how partial her stories are
o Making to make a big impact begins with a small impact
o Reexamine the word discipline
o Less is More
o Being in the right relationships or having the right kind of lesson
o No matter what your issue is, the other is media
o How do we consume lust to savor more?



Dialogue Session D-2:
What breaks your heart?
" Low wages in 3rd world countries that drive people to do harm to environment
" Family violence
" Unkindness toward self
" Victims of war
" Degradation of the planet
" The way people treat each other
" Individual suffering
" Violence
" Labor injustice
" Big corporate dominance
" Broken hearts
" Mistreatment of children and Mother Earth
" Iraq residents, soldiers, inner city violence?
" Abuse & oppression and people's dignity being taken away
" Youth violence in school

What did you hear?
" Connecting the macro & micro; dealing w/paradox of capitalism & socialism
" What is peace? The word shalom includes both the notion of 'peace' and 'wholeness' Being an activist helped to keep the polarization. We are all fractals of the whole. Whatever you do is the perfect thing
" Remember and look for the grey areas. Not everything is black & white
" Break out of the trance of all Americans are white collar and no class. Remember worker consciousness
" Thinking in binaries leads to problems - too limited.
" How do we enter into dialogue with people who are decision makers through the eyes of seeing them as human beings not enemies
" Corporations' missions are bottom line vs. nonprofits mission of common good. How do we help corporations have heart
" Reconsider the definition of The Other and what it means

Minding the gap / point of growth & opportunities

Optimism, love, hope, compassion and peace
Holding a balance of pain, suffering and love and optimism

Activism of spirit of hope and love
Not to demonize The 'Other' side.
Need to remember the blue collar people in America and celebrate the workers

Being a They, there's the choices of focusing on being Not They, we can focus on being Me
Instead of looking at the world and people through the lenses of wealth, class, profession, it's important to look at the world as people, as You and I
We have more power in our own spheres of influence and community when we are more connected with ourselves and loving ourselves
The Other have the same feelings and needs as us

Transformative experience of gay Iraqi vet: Leading a squad in a village - one house had a beautiful garden but the squad intentionally tore up garden. The owner came out with a tray of tea for the troops. Need to maintain an open heart even in conflict situations.

Labels bring out assumptions from people (i.e. socialist, plumber, optimist, liberals, politician, socialist, etc.)

The power of language was confirmed when words/labels evoked strong reaction
Our bodies in state of contraction and expansion. But the notion of expansion in the universe is a powerful one for ultimate positive change even if not in our lifetime.
Going back to the story of serving tea - What is crucial - is the relationship, not the garden or property. Compassionate listening - avoids polarizations. But it is really hard.
Can we do an activist thing with being wholeness? An experience with executives from Chevron showed that there is a way to bridge the two.
Cup of tea - labor movement - sense that as individuals we hold power but it is difficult to organize people. Corporations have money but we have the $ too and the people. Need to change the dialog. Union is a power tool but it ends up keeping people off the street. Getting bodies on the street is very different than signing petition or giving donations.

Coit tower - inside is a mural that's a tribute to working person. People don't think of selves as worker - perhaps as consumer
In Canada there isn't the sense of so many active social change groups. America has a social dynamism.

Getting beyond capitalism and socialism - bother by the issue. Need to maintain a sense of class. Other class really pulls strings.

Violence comes from the reactionary side. Do want them to feel safe so they don't attack.

Need a worker consciousness like Black consciousness movement of the '60s
There is a lot of reciprocity that is available if one is open to the dialog.

While recognizing the class, borders, and nationalities - try not to look at the world through the lens.
How to enter dialogue with those who hold positions of power? What is their humanity?
Love is easy, like is hard!

The more connected to self the more the person is becoming powerful in the word. By listening to my own feelings and leads to opportunities to connect

Being centered as individuals - corporations in the US have become individuals - corp. mission statements have profit as the bottom line. If changing the mission to the common good would be like the heart. So it is important to keep in touch with those individuals who are making decisions. Thinking that changing consumerism isn't enough.
Where is the next move? Keep internal focus on who we are and what we want in the world.

Suggestions to conference organizer & other closing comments:

" Engage The Other and bridge the gap - how to increase conversations with them
" Smaller groups and conversation café
" Many assumptions and things coming from different angles and things felt missing.
" Realized that one component of change is that the person needs to be involved in some way in politics.
" What does the 'self' mean? Binary a false of them. Maybe it is broader that binary.
" The power of language, words, labels, definition of words.

We apologize to anyone and everyone for misinterpretations and omissions.
The scribes

Intergenerational Wisdom Map

" We create the rules of our social constructs (time, engagement, etc) plus we can change them.
" Wanting to get to young people and how they perceive me.
" Elders teaching physical skills and transferring knowledge; e.g. knitting, reading; computer skills.
" Give and take of relationships is what makes them valuable.
" What happens after the facilitated conversations to maintain momentum?
" Exposure to different experiences, people from different backgrounds.
" Faith that anything that we do, every conversation that we have, will make a difference and changes as people. It's a gift to know it does.
" Give youth time to tell their story; slow down the process.
" Creating trusting connections so authentic that sharing can happen
" Question our beliefs about "others" that breaks down barriers
" Desire for genuine community and connection
" Challenge: communication flow
" Door-to-door community building
" Knowing that we are connected and can make a difference.
" Make better use of technology for genuine community and bring together different perspectives.
" Have a conversation about th dynamics of power in intergenerational dialogue
" Project team start-ups brining people together, task riented, for a purpose, learning to trust
" Technology used to connect ideas and generations
" What are your beliefs about other generations?

Dialogue Session D-3: 
Religious and Cultural Harmony Dialogue
Sara Talcott, Facilitator

What questions is alive in you and what are you sitting with?

A number of folks had come in from the session on Muslim Jewish Dialogues with a lot of energy to explore issues of secularism and religiosity, the role of religious texts, how they are perceived. Attachment to text seems to be less a part of eastern spirituality such as Buddhism "There is a truth…when we write it down in words that becomes partial truth" Some a Tao text…paraphrase…

Can we promote inter-faith dialogue without talking about the dark side within each religion?
The rest of the group came from the PCP workshop on shifting perceptions of the enemy…moving a conversation from being polarized and inhumane to seeing the "other's" humaneness.

Some ideas shared….
How do we engage in Polarization that honors the other person?

Share yourself as a way to empathize with each other

Is reason the way?
Can the reason be our way to solution

Are we really trying to hear each other? What goes on out there is a reflection of what is inside us..

Question- the most painful rivalry is that between siblings…metaphor of fingers and a hand…How do we bring out the uniqueness of each one and hold the whole?

How do we have conversations that allow us to talk about our deepest values rather than conclusions and how difficult is it to open the conversation?

What really matters to them and what really matters to me so how do we use this living moment with hat questions?

Whatever works reflects something deep within us
Difference between conversations with who we know and who we do not know

Religion and culture gets to the core of our values therefore more emotionally charged.
.
How does blending across difference worlds happen organically

Check out Reality Show on TV "30 days" where people have the experience of living with someone who is different from them….

Saturday November 14th:

Afternoon

Dialogue Session H-1:
How can we bring new syles of public engagement into the public forum?

Observation: the same issues of underclass and middle/upper class exist (e.g. with workers in Salinas) that existed in Steinbeck's time.

Issues are pervasive - ETO provides networking and resources to gain tools in addressing such problems.

H - How can we bridge the spiritual and political? Michael Lerner addressed this). Politics is a way of watching the culture.

In government/s as in many institutions, power should come from the bottom up rather than the other way.

Middle east, health care issues touched on. More people die in VA hospitals than on the battlefield. What about them?

We're living in an age in which so everything is revealed and technology advancing at incredible pace. All this information - how do we make choices with all of this information?

Comparison of our country to an adolescent: We must choose where are we going? What are our truths?

Media sells perfection; needless pain generated by not getting stuff we think (are told) we need.

So much broken but there's common root - our consciousness.

There is a slow cosmic shift in consciousness going on.

Error in thinking fundamentalist thinking is religion: religion often a way of holding an ideology to advance or sustain power.

Saftey in knowing what "the rules" are and following them rigidly.

Need for connection, living our values in community, service, work. Cultural variations, but needs are universal.
.

Resource and Networking HUB Charts
(Watch for more networking and cooperation opportunities to be added soon as more materials from ETO HUB are organized and posted here)

Bay Area:

" Building local social capital
" Bridging non-profits with mainstream publiz
" Success of cross-sectors collaborations
" Porcia Silverberg, Thrive: www.Thrivealliance.org 650-766-1162

Byron Katie Groups (Thought Challenge Process)
Jane Reeder: janeejanereeder.com
408-905-9120
I facilitate 1st and 3rd Mondays, 6:30- - 8:00 PM
Unity Palo Alto www.meetings.com/introduction-to-byronkatie

Conflict Resolution Writer
Examiner.com
Life and Communication coach, mediator, pre-mediation
I work with inner and interpersonal conflict - brining understanding and connection to the natural conflict in life.
Teresa Rose, 650-619-5825,www.PeaceofMondCoaching.wordpress.com

Accelerating the "Getting to Know You" process with diverse individuals within a community group (religious, social, corporate, etc.)
Jeff Richardson: EmpoweredAlliances.com 650-269-5395

East:

Midwest:

Peace Teams National and International (US, Mexico, West Bank)
Nicole L. Rohrkemper
Lansing, Michigan 517-484-3178
NocoleR.mpt@gmail.com

International:

Catastrophic Trauma Recovery (CTR) training project
MPT in Palestine.blogspot.com
Nonviolent Direct Action in the West Bank

Ideas and Future Collaborations Chart - "Who wants to work on what?"

" Collaborate or join the next Peace Team - Palestine - Gaza - Juarez - Mexico and USA…

" MPT in Paletine.blogspot.com

" MPT in Juarez.blogspot.com

" Empathy - Edwin

~ Open Space ~

(Watch for material gathered from the ETO Open Space process to be organized and posted here soon)

Videotaped Proceedings

Key parts of the 4 day '09 ETO Conference were taped to be archived and shared through our website. These recordings are stored at various locations including YouTube, websites of partnering organizations, and our CBI website.

1) Video highlights of '09 ETO Panel on "Building Cooperation Across Political Divides"   (6 minutes)

(Watch for more taped proceedings to be posted shortly)

Video Interviews

(Watch for more links to video interviews to be posted here soon)

Over the days of the '09 ETO Conference individuals were invited to share their personal thoughts and experiences of empathy, as well as impressions of the conference topic, presentations, on-going dialogue process, and cross-cultural learning community. The videotaped interviews below are some examples offered to provide a glimpse of the 2009 conference experience. As more of these these interviews are uploaded we will add them to the list below.

Joseph McCormick:    1     2     3     4  
Nancy Khan:   1  

We wish to express our thanks to those who agreed to be interviewed and have their impromtu thoughts shared here. We wish to also express our great appreciation to Edwin Rutsch who filmed and conducted the interviews. Edwin is working on a documentary project on Empathy. If you are interested in learning more about his project he can be reached at: Empathy@progressiveSpirit.com

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